Yesterday I Ordered Love

Yesterday I ordered love
From an amazing online store
And as they duly promised
Today it is at my door

I open the box — to my surprise
I see a bonus gift inside
‘Whole lotta expectations’
Reads its label on the side

I toss it off in the trash can
What good is it for me?
I’ve got all that I have paid for
Quite a sum I’ll say honestly

So I sit down on the couch
With my order in my hand
What was missing in my life
I am about to understand

As soon as I turn it on
That gift comes flying like a bee
Out of the can and in my lap
Refusing to part with me

I wonder and I ponder
It is beyond what I can think
Between love and expectations
There must be a fishy link

Yes indeed I am right
As I turn off this little love-thing
The free gift of expectations
Leaves me without bothering

So I’m stuck now with my order
Love is not good to me at all
It brings with it these expectations
So I had to make a call

Hello I’d like to return my order
— I ferociously claim
It’s not what I was looking for
Will you please note down my name?

I’m sorry Sir to have to tell you
It’s our common policy worldwide
We don’t entertain no returns
They’re forever yours now — she replied