The Most Powerful Weapon

Depending upon the opponent

A wrestling match can be tough

Especially if the opponent

Knows all your moves and stuff

So once I was face-to-face

With a very familiar foe

His fans call him Depression

I call him De-Press Joe

I can fight that meanie smooth

But that wasn’t how it was

He called upon his loyal pals

To build an unfair cause

There was Morose Donald

There was also Negative Bill

There was Ire ‘The Anger’ Rage

And many, many more still

It was intimidating

To face them all at once

I found myself uneasy

At my incompetence

Then it dawned upon me

My nerves got quite a kick

I got myself a weapon

They thought I’d never pick

When they came charging at me

I simply threw a Smile

And all of them went running

For around about a mile

Now when they come to fight you

You know just what to do

Simply deploy a smile

Then you thank me too

How To Name A Kid

I’ve got a great news to share

And also a dilemma

I’m blessed with a baby poem

I don’t know what to name her

Should I name her Rachel?

Debbie or Emily?

Should I call her Jessie?

Would someone please help me?

Should I keep it quirky

Modern or ancient?

Should I name her after

A former president?

Put yourself in my place

What name would come to you?

If you’re out of ideas

Here’s what you need to do

Find a Baby Name box

Lift its giant lid

Till then I’ll just call her

‘How To Name A Kid’

Wanted: A Poem Catcher

Somebody catch me my poems

They’re all over the place

They’re everywhere they shouldn’t be

Oh it’s such a disgrace

They start off from my head you know

And run around as they please

They’re even harder to catch I’d say

Harder than a swarm of bees

I chase after them all day you know

So often I chase in vain

In the morn’ they come to life

Then at night they run again

You see I really need your help right now

Won’t you help me for a while?

I’ll pay you handsomely I promise

I’ll pay you with a smile

To My Future Wife

Last night I was texting

To my fiancée

‘To my future wife’ is

How it was meant to be

Then there’s Autocorrect

Which ruined my whole life

Changed my loving words to

‘To my favourite wife’

Now she wouldn’t listen to me

She said she’s had enough

She couldn’t trust me ever

She called our wedding off