The family stood divided
Each one against the other
Hatred and bitterness
Filled the atmosphere
They sought help of a guru
Wise and renowned
To end all disputes with
Words deep and profound
The guru chanted mantras
Closed his eyes and prayed
Seemingly spoke to God
The message he out laid
“Right in your backyard
There lies a treasure chest
Dig up as quick as you can
Your woes shall be addressed
The treasure is large and hefty
It will fill your lives with gold
God has blessed your house
Or so I’ve been told”
The whole family took up spades
Began digging the yard
All the disputes went on hold
For they were digging very hard
Now after a week of toil
They didn’t find any chest
No gold in their pockets
No woes were addressed
They stormed to the guru
Who calmly asked them to sit
He said he’d explain it all
If they’d only permit
“A week you spent digging
Not once did you fight
You all worked together
Whether day or night
You didn’t find any treasure?
I say you struck gold
There’re no rubies in your pockets
But unity in your soul”
The family wasn’t convinced
“The week’s over,” they said
“We’ll go back fighting now
Until we’re all dead”
“For a solution,” said the guru
“Which is permanent
Kindly pay at the counter
Free trial’s a week extent”

You know what happened in office today?
I threw all the work in the bin
Cleared out my desk
Lay my head down and began to think
Of the time I could spend with you instead
We could go to a place
Where the skies are always blue
Grass is always green
We could go scuba diving
Mountain climbing
I would write a song for you
Play it on my guitar
Sing it with all my heart
Make you fall in love with me again
I imagined you in my arms
But you were pushing me away
You were knocking on my head
It felt quite strange
You began to call me names
You were screaming, “Wake up, you moron.”
And then I woke up
My boss was standing over me
With a termination letter in his hand
Time to spend more time with you

You know what happened in office today?
As I reached my desk
I looked outside the window
Only to see the clouds burst in flames
A giant fiery bird flew out of the smoke
Landed straight at my window
Gave me a deathly stare
Was abducted soon after by a UFO
After all the drama ended
I sat down to do my work
But a couple of burglars broke in
Beat me up and kidnapped me
None of my colleagues moved a muscle
As they dragged me with them
They checked my wallet and pockets
Found kryptonite on me
Dumped me in a nearby field
I had to walk back home
My boss will be furious tomorrow
I missed the deadline today