I said No

To all your false promises

To your demands and attentions

To your attitude and ego

To all your pretensions

…

I said No

To heart-breaks and misery

To anxiety and sorrow

To confusion and pain

To a depressing tomorrow

…

I said No

To my old ways

That I may start afresh

On a blank new page

I said No

To those disturbing memories

That haunt me every night

Again and again

I said No

To unhappiness

To the mess that I am

With all the stress in my head

I said No

Though it wasn’t easy

But it was right

For you and for me

I said No

With hands trembling

With eyes crying

Yet with a heart that let all fears loose

I said No

Because that is what I choose

Take my bleeding heart and crush it

Crush it till it bleeds no more

All the love you failed to give

Now that love it needs no more

Dark clouds gather overhead

Reminding me of you

Clock ticks just above my bed

Telling me it’s two

Every hour of my awake

Every breath that passes by

Is a reminder of my ache

In the middle of July

…

The first thought of the next day morn’

Keep reminding me of you

Is it the right word since I’m

Always lost in you?

Well, the sun and all his light

The breeze and all can try

To heal me of my ache

In the middle of July

…

Just like that, another day is gone

I’m drawing closer to my end

The vantage of this day morn’

Has ceased to be my friend

All the torments of your grace

Have left me here to die

It is something I can’t face

In the middle of July

I’m standing on the edge

But I’ve no fear

I’m looking for a God

Somewhere near

I’m looking for a spark

I’ve got a tear

Need somebody here

Someone dear

Every time I feel I’m wrong, wrong, wrong

You were always right, right, right

I can’t go on

I have lost my way

When you are gone

There’s nothing to say

I keep trying, trying, trying

Always crying, crying, crying

But there’s nothing to say

…

I’m walking all alone

Day and night

In the darkness

I’m filled with fright

No guiding hand

No candle light

All confusion

Is black and white

Every step I take is wrong, wrong, wrong

You were always right, right, right

I’m falling down

With no sign of day

On the ground

There’s nothing to say

I keep calling, calling, calling

Hear me falling, falling, falling

But you’ve nothing to say

…

I can’t evade

This masquerade

My dreams fade

Before you

Every lightning’s

Very frightening

Without you

I keep crying, crying, crying

I keep trying, trying, trying

But there’s nothing to say

There’s just nothing to say

Oh these swings are a nasty thing

One moment they get you up

High as the birds in the sky

The next moment you are down

Like the outcast dirt on earth

…

One moment they make you feel in love

Like nothing could go wrong

The next moment you are feeling sick

When you come crashing down

…

One moment you are gleefully singing

As the breeze brushes your hair

The very next moment you are exhausted

Your head containing a tornado

…

One moment you are full of happiness

Happier than the king of the world

The next moment you are struggling

To find a bit of peace and calm

…

One moment up

One moment down

Up, down, up, down, up, down

Oh these swings are a nasty thing

My simple heart couldn’t take it anymore

I wrote my song on fire

For love is a savage flame

There I wrote with ire

There I wrote your name

Now with fingers burning

I pour my pain in rage

Watch grey smoke returning

To the fire-bounded page

The fire — cruel and hollow

Turns on me in a flash

Leaps at me to swallow

My anger and my ash

I don’t know

I don’t know where we’re goin’

I don’t care

Which way this wind is blowin’

Last night

I thought I would put this to end

But we’re starting

To go through this all over again

…

I don’t know

How this will turn out to be

I don’t care

How this will turn out to be

Last night

I kept my eyes wide open

Thinking, wondering

If we’re doing this all over again

…

I don’t know

If this story has an ending

I don’t care

If you’re just pretending

All night

I swallow my ego and pain

For I fear

We’re starting it all over again