The more I live, the more I believe
That we are all part of a videogame
That there are levels some of us may never reach
Hidden areas and secrets, unknown powers and potentials — things we may never know
That God holds the joystick and controls everything
That we are mere characters for amusement
And all we have is one life
I hear the clock there ticking away
Every night and every day
Every moment that passes me by
Brings me truth — I can’t deny
Inching closer to a big wall
With a door to allow us all
Entrance in the fire’s mouth
Where we’re all heading south
One by one they’ll call our name
The cruel Death and his dame
With laughter rising in the air
And fear sets the atmosphere
All these thoughts are scary, aren’t they?
The clock keeps ticking away
I guess my head just needs some sleep
To axe these thoughts — they’re buried deep
You wanted my money, honey
You wanted my fame, dame
You wanted everything that I had
But you didn’t want me
…
You wanted gifts and presents
Every expensive accessory
All the things that cash could buy
But you didn’t want me
…
You wanted love and care
But never showed any in return
Love could never be unfair
Love was supposed to be fun
…
Now I look back upon
The time we spent together
Wonder what a fool I
Had been all these years
…
You wanted everything that I could give
But not everything that I was
You didn’t want me
So I didn’t want you
Some love you may have to lose
Some love you may glad to gain
But the greatest love you’ll ever know
Is the love you never attain
Oh your love
In those fine summer days
How mundane it had felt
And yet today
In these cold winter chills
I miss your love like hell
I still believe
Everything I heard
Every soft whisper
Every spoken word
…
I still remember
Every promise made
Every time that I
Watched it fade
…
I still recall
Every memory
Precious and painful
Of you and me
…
I still love
Everything you do
Everything you are
Everything that’s you
All the gifts
That you want—
I can’t afford to buy
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit to be your guy
…
A thousand flaws
You can find
In the blink of an eye
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit to be your guy
…
All the hurt
That I’ve brought
Have caused your eyes to cry
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit to be your guy
…
Your company
I will never
Be able to justify
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit to be your guy
…
You are right
When you say
“You might as well die.”
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit
I ain’t fit to be your guy
Will that rain ever come back
When you and I were together?
Will that rain ever come back?
That cursed, perfect weather?
Will that rain ever come back
When nature was at her best?
When you put your hand in my hand
And your head upon my chest?
Will that rain ever come back?
Those soft and gentle drops?
When time stood still for eternity
And the world was put to stops?
Will that rain ever come back
And clean me off my dirt?
Wash my sins and evil deeds
Wash away my pain and hurt?
Will that rain ever come back
When my world was just me and you?
Will that rain ever come back?
No, I don’t think so too
I lost my happiness
Lost my peace of mind
My appetite, my self-control
All was left behind
…
My self-respect was shattered
My ego was badly bruised
Innocence had gone missing
I was alone and confused
…
Darkness surrounded me except
For a little light from above
When I went diving, falling
Into the abyss called love
…
That light was all I needed
To help me dig a bit further
There I found a treasure chest
Belonging to no other
…
I opened the dusty treasure chest
And I was glad to find
My missing piece of happiness
My missing peace of mind
…
I also repaired my self-respect
My ego was at its best
Innocence was also retrieved
With the gems from the chest
…
Then I came to realise
That this bottomless pit
Is not as bad as it seems
If you do not quit
I wonder how far you have gone
Wonder if I scratch your mind
From the night till early dawn
I’m clutching at left-behinds
I wish that you could see me here
See me, and how much I’ve changed
I begged for a get-together
The stars won’t have it arranged
I will keep my pockets empty
Bide away my sleepless nights
Let the stars come then comfort me
I’ll take shelter in their lights
Frank Solanki 