The family stood divided
Each one against the other
Hatred and bitterness
Filled the atmosphere
They sought help of a guru
Wise and renowned
To end all disputes with
Words deep and profound
The guru chanted mantras
Closed his eyes and prayed
Seemingly spoke to God
The message he out laid
“Right in your backyard
There lies a treasure chest
Dig up as quick as you can
Your woes shall be addressed
The treasure is large and hefty
It will fill your lives with gold
God has blessed your house
Or so I’ve been told”
The whole family took up spades
Began digging the yard
All the disputes went on hold
For they were digging very hard
Now after a week of toil
They didn’t find any chest
No gold in their pockets
No woes were addressed
They stormed to the guru
Who calmly asked them to sit
He said he’d explain it all
If they’d only permit
“A week you spent digging
Not once did you fight
You all worked together
Whether day or night
You didn’t find any treasure?
I say you struck gold
There’re no rubies in your pockets
But unity in your soul”
The family wasn’t convinced
“The week’s over,” they said
“We’ll go back fighting now
Until we’re all dead”
“For a solution,” said the guru
“Which is permanent
Kindly pay at the counter
Free trial’s a week extent”

You know what happened in office today?
I threw all the work in the bin
Cleared out my desk
Lay my head down and began to think
Of the time I could spend with you instead
We could go to a place
Where the skies are always blue
Grass is always green
We could go scuba diving
Mountain climbing
I would write a song for you
Play it on my guitar
Sing it with all my heart
Make you fall in love with me again
I imagined you in my arms
But you were pushing me away
You were knocking on my head
It felt quite strange
You began to call me names
You were screaming, “Wake up, you moron.”
And then I woke up
My boss was standing over me
With a termination letter in his hand
Time to spend more time with you

You know what happened in office today?
As I reached my desk
I looked outside the window
Only to see the clouds burst in flames
A giant fiery bird flew out of the smoke
Landed straight at my window
Gave me a deathly stare
Was abducted soon after by a UFO
After all the drama ended
I sat down to do my work
But a couple of burglars broke in
Beat me up and kidnapped me
None of my colleagues moved a muscle
As they dragged me with them
They checked my wallet and pockets
Found kryptonite on me
Dumped me in a nearby field
I had to walk back home
My boss will be furious tomorrow
I missed the deadline today

My dog has a blog

For writing poetries

He’s a much better poet

Than I could ever be

…

My dog has a blog

More followers than me

Thousands of crazy fans

A mini celebrity

…

My dog has a blog

Fame and money

He moved out last month

To start a family

…

My dog has a blog

But a bad memory

Ever since he’s moved out

He’s never called me

I drew a bird and it came to life
I got excited and told my wife
She didn’t believe a single word
For there wasn’t any sign of the bird
The window was open. She must have flown away
To cause my heart enormous dismay
So just to prove that I was true
I told her, “I’d draw again for you.”
She stopped my hand and told me, “Wait.”
“Why don’t you draw a piece of chocolate?”

My wife and kids are not too pleased

I spend too much time on my phone

They say I should get some exercise

I ask them to leave me alone

…

Sophie thinks I don’t hold her anymore

I only hold my phone

If I don’t change my ways

In the streets she’ll have me thrown

She thinks whenever we go out

I talk more to my phone

I correct her on that point

I do the same at home

…

The kids are more threatening

They plan to steal my phone

Hide it in some corner

I shall forever be unknown

I have my own plans so

They never mess with my phone

If they’ll ever steal it

In the streets I’ll have them thrown

…

My wife and kids are not too pleased

I spend too much time on my phone

They say I should get some exercise

In the streets I have them thrown

Mom and dad are not too pleased

I’m spending too much time with my phone

They asked me to get some exercise

I told them to leave me alone

…

Mom thinks I should do my homework

My grades are crashing down

If I don’t make it through school

I’ll end up as a circus clown

Mom also thinks she’s very funny

That I’ve inherited that bone

But I do not agree with that

Neither does my phone

…

Dad says that I’m a bum

I barely move a muscle

I’m too lazy to argue that

I could beat him in a tussle

He really shouldn’t criticize

What he cannot understand

He would never realize

My phone is my only friend

…

Mom and dad are not too pleased

I’m spending too much time with my phone

They asked me to get some exercise

So I untangle my earphones

I was lonely. I was sad

I had lost everything that I ever had

I had nothing but time

No family, house, car or dime

Then you came along

Everything turned so wrong

I forgot that I was ever sad

You made me happy. You made me glad

Like you were an evil witch

You turned my fortunes. Made me rich

Now I just don’t understand

What to do with the cash in hand

Why don’t you just go away?

There’s so much tax that I have to pay

Give me back my time and space

I don’t want to see your face

Is this some devious plot of yours?

To gift me a healthy Swedish horse

All this wealth – this isn’t me

I want to go back to writing poetry