A snake came home from work
Found his wife to be missing
He immediately called for help
But they only heard him hissing

There was once a giant man
Who burst the ground as he ran
Everyone told him to sit
But no chair was fit
So he went back to running again

A robo read my horoscope
“A bad day lies ahead
Your heart will seethe in extreme rage”
And more contemptible things it said

“Don’t venture out of your home tonight
You may kill someone with your hands
So spend some time with your wife and kids
That’s what your horoscope demands”

“You seem to be emotionally unstable
Your maturity levels are low
Today you are even more sensitive
To any kind of critical blow”

That is all that the robo read
Not a single word anymore
Don’t think he’ll ever talk again
Its cogs lay all over the floor

Which sane man likes to wake up
Just at the crack of dawn
Get dressed and go running to work
Sleepwalk throughout with a yawn?

Who likes to spend two hours daily
To reach a place you most hate
And then be treated like a criminal
If you’re even a minute late?

Work from home was always a dream
And now my dream’s come true
You know what they say – Be careful what you wish
For God just might give it to you

It’s been a little over two days and
Things have gone berserk
Whenever I take a minute’s break
My wife thinks I do no work

So she nags me to lend a helping hand
We fight over it all day
Then my boss wants to know about a file
And I have nothing to say

So here I am with two bosses
Doing work and household chores
Work from home may sound like paradise
But now I miss my office floors

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Dopplewood
Old and aged but going good
Married for more than forty years
But their love so new appears
I asked them what their secret is
If they had any advices
She said, “There are secrets none
Just keep having lots of fun.”
He said, “There is just one advice
Said by an ancient man so wise —
Keep your peace and avoid a fight
What the wife speaks is always right”

When I ask Dad about his tummy
He only has one reply for me
He says — One fine sunny afternoon
He swallowed a giant yellow balloon
He tried his best to get it out
His parents heard him scream and shout
They tried their best but all in vain
He never was a normal boy again
Even doctors couldn’t help him a lot
That’s why a big round tummy he’s got
Mommy’s carrying a big tummy these days
What’s the reason? She never says
I could only think of one after all
Mommy’s eaten my old red ball

How beautiful it would be
If all the giraffes were green
Wherever you may look
Blue ants could be seen
If all sharks were yellow
If all elephants were white
Don’t you agree with me
It would make for a beautiful sight?
If all tigers were pink
If all whales were red
Wouldn’t it be delightful
If all the crows were red?
But alas the world is dull
Whoever painted it so
Wouldn’t it be a little brighter
If I were God, you know

One thing that I want to know
Where, for work, does Daddy go?
Must be a place full of fun
He wakes up earlier than the sun
Hurries his bath and his brush
He always seems in such a rush
Skips his breakfast, makes a run
His office must be a lot of fun
I wait for him at home all day
Time never seems to fly away
When at night he knocks the door
He looks exhausted to the core
Eats his meal and goes to bed
Oh I’m so envious of my dad
Only one conclusion I can draw
He must be riding a see-saw
And playing on the slides and swings
With other people just like him
There’s no option but to pray
That I too can be like him someday
Dear God, what can’t you do?
Just one thing that I ask of you
As soon as I get out of school
I wanna join an office cool

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Daddy goes to office
Mother does too
I sit at home
With nothing to do
So I sit and write
Poems for you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wish I had a brother
And a sister too
Together we would have
Something to do
Better than writing poems
That don’t sound new
Roses are red
Violets are blue

I don’t like waking up
Early in the morning
The sun taps at my window
Without a formal warning
Get up against my will
For a lousy day at school
What new will they teach me?
I’d rather be a fool
Is there an excuse I can borrow?
I won’t brush my teeth tomorrow

I’ve got a perfect set of teeth
They’re shiny and white
What disaster’s gonna happen
If I don’t brush them right?
How bad could it get?
What curse would befall?
What harm would it cause
If I don’t brush at all?
The routine’s full of sorrow
I won’t brush my teeth tomorrow

I hate my mom and dad
They buy me a fancy brush
But when I ask for a toy
They’re in no kind of rush
What can I say to them
When they don’t hear a reason
Am I some kinda criminal?
Is this some kinda prison?
I don’t want my toothbrush to glow
I won’t brush my teeth tomorrow

I think it’s a big old scam
To make one brush everyday
When I would rather spend
That time instead to play
Granny brushed all her life
Yet look where she’s now
She’s got those ugly dentures
That belong on a cow
I can’t wait to have my way once I grow
I won’t brush my teeth tomorrow