They said my pants will catch fire
If I grow up to be a liar
And a hard lesson I will learn
When I lead my pants to burn
…
But that warning never deterred me
Instead I took it quite seriously
And I sinned and lied and called names
Just to see if my pants caught flames
…
So I lied and lied and lied again
Till I entered a liar’s den
All my pants caught was dust
But my soul did combust
There are all sorts of liars in this world
From grown-up men to thieving girls
In populated China, in land-locked Rhodesia
But none like a liar with amnesia
Here is an embarrassing confession:
Can someone please teach me how to work with spreadsheets?
It’s giving me nightmares. Making me dance to its beats
It’s not as easy to use as a word document
There are many functions on which I’d rather not comment
I’ve got a big presentation tomorrow. I could really use some help
I cannot teach kids to use spreadsheets if I don’t know it myself
Am I to be blamed for loving you?
Should I blame the heart?
The head has looked for reasons
The eyes have played their part
The heart is in wonderland
The body has ceased to work
The senses are all failing
Should they blame their luck?
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll giggle and we’ll laugh
Paper rockets will fly around
And cut the misery to half
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll eat all that we can
Make all sorts of noises
And bang the desks again
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll look outside the window
Talk to our imaginary friend
Or get into a row
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
The black board, we’ll ignore
And stare into that person’s eyes
The reason we came here for
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll pass a secret message
Pretend we’re under attack
And speak in alien language
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll invent new formulae
Math wouldn’t be boring anymore
Homework’ll equal play
…
When the teacher isn’t looking
We’ll fight with books and glue
But the teacher didn’t come to school today
Now we don’t know what to do
I swear I did my homework
I just couldn’t find it right now
When I was writing a poem
It must have grown wings somehow
…
I swear I did my homework
It must be somewhere around
But I’m too busy writing a poem
I don’t care if it’s found
…
I swear I did my homework
But it is not with me
Did I give it to someone else
So I can write my poetry?
…
I swear I did my homework
Today, I couldn’t blame the dog
He’s had dinner and is filling full
And so is my goddamned blog
Stuck here with a problem
Got me scratching my head
Don’t know what to do with it
Whether to multiply or add
‘Tis quite confusing
To see numbers circling in air
Got no solution for it
God ain’t answering my prayer
I shouldn’t have slept in class
Now I’m counting my luck
Mom would never know about it
The dog ate my homework
Heart for sale: broken but functioning
I woke up with no memory
All alone in my bed
I stared at the mirror
A strange feeling in my head
…
An ant crawled up to me
I asked her, “Who I am?”
“I don’t know,” she said
“You must be The Giant Ant.”
…
She led me to her home
Too small for me to fit in
She gave me a potion
To help me slip in
…
I drank it all at once
It didn’t work at all
I remained a giant ant
My length didn’t fall
…
“‘Tis no use,” she said
“You just stand still
I’ll call my brothers out
Much against their will.”
…
And out they came in numbers
Hundreds and thousands of ants
Inside the pocket of my shirt
And all over my pant
…
An anteater looked at me
Like I’m a man with ants as wings
He scared the hell out of them
They left me with giant stings
…
And back they retreated
Into their tiny hole
Left me scratching my head
No answers in my soul
…
What if I wake up again
Tomorrow with no memory?
I’d be careful not to ask an ant again
Any questions about me
Frank Solanki 