​A Message For You

Hey girl, there’s something I want

To say to you

It’s quite apparent, isn’t it?

My jaws just drop, my eyes pop out

Whenever I set my happy eyes on you

But it’s not because you’re beautiful

Or simple or sweet

Neither pretty nor cute

My eyes do hurt, my jaws do drop

And I realise my worth

Whenever you are near or around because you look

Like a ghost from my darkest imaginations

And sometimes like a monster and a calamity

Just a little suggestion for you

Try wearing a mask

If you can

Take my little advice

Who knows it just might help you

To look less like a dinosaur

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Constellation

Towards heaven, I turned my head

With the night sky, dark and red

An arrangement I did behold

Precious more than a thousand gold

The night stars lined up in play

Shining brighter than the sun of day

As if they were willing to play a game

And formed a constellation of your name

Then I turned my head to the other side

And my smile grew further wide

The brightest stars of the endless space

Drew a constellation of your face

​If I Was A Hungry Cat

If I was a hungry cat. Furry, fluffy and fat

I’ll eat some mice. It’ll feel so nice

I’ll have some fish to my heart’s wish

Still feel empty after that, if I was a hungry cat

I’ll bite John’s shoe, Anne’s book I’ll chew

Gulp a horseshoe, then lick some glue

Still feel empty after that, if I was a hungry cat

Then I’ll eat some wood. It’ll taste so good

Some pebbles and stones to harden my bones

Grow quite big after that, if I was a hungry cat

Then I’ll try tables and chairs, happy couples and pairs

Buses and trains, cars and cranes

Grow quite big after that, but my hunger won’t go yet

Have parks for lunch, factories facing crunch

Some rivers I’d drink and even some seas, i think

Grow into a giant cat if I was hungry like that

I’ll eat mountains and hills, tax returns and bills

And get my paws all over the crazy laws

Empty Earth after that if I was a hungry cat

My hunger won’t be done so I’ll eat Moon and Sun

And then erase whatever’s left in space

Float like a space jet if I was a hungry cat

And when everything else fails

I’ll eat my own tail

Bite my own head off

Wait, I wouldn’t do that

No, no, no

I wouldn’t do that if I was a hungry cat

​If I Was A Chameleon

If I was a chameleon

It would be so much fun

Into a hundred colours I’d turn

If I was a chameleon

I’d turn golden with the burning sun

My tail, my legs, my abdomen

If I was a chameleon

I’d be blue when you see me crawl

All over the fancy, big, blue wall

Or I’d be white on a baseball

Or orange on a basketball

I’d be green in a casino

Or when I’m laying in a meadow

I’d be grey in hair of May

A purple mess in Jane’s dress

A scarlet red in Emma’s bed

A bright yellow and a brighter pink

Now and then, or so I think

But my truest colours I would show

When I’m sliding down a rainbow

And when all is said and all is done

I’d turn black when the night’s begun

You see, it would be so much fun

If I was a chameleon

​If I Was A Magnet

If I was a magnet

All the girls would come flocking to me

Like I’m some celebrity

Stalk and encroach my private life

Propose and fight to be my wife

If I was a magnet

All the girls would scream and shout

When they see me stepping out

Chase me down in their high heels

With their ferocious howls and squeals

If I was a magnet

Girls would keep attracting to me

Even if I hide on top of a tree

They’ll smell me and lose control

Even if I’m hiding inside a hole

If I was a magnet

All girls, sweet and pretty

Will have their fingerprints all over me

Act crazy, wild, insane and mad

All the guys will feel so sad

If I was a magnet

All the girls would stick to me

Like I’m honey and they’re bees

But I can’t even attract an iron nail yet

I ain’t even sweet as chocolate

Or mighty rich or fortunate

So I guess I might as well forget

To be a magnet

​If I Was A Weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

They’ll search for me

Wherever I may be

From Bombay to Bordeaux

If I was a weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

They’ll hunt me down

In some small town

While I’m having cappuccino

If I was a weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

They’ll tie me in chains

Cut open my brains

Like I’m Galileo

If I was a weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

They’ll lock me in a prison

Try to find a reason

Why I turned out so

If I was a weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

They’ll declare me fat

A national threat

Bury me next to Michelangelo

If I was a weirdo

If I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

I’ll come out of my grave

Some folks, I’ll save

Become a redeemed hero

If I was a weirdo

Well, I was a weirdo

A nerdo and a geeko

But it was a long time ago

Am I still a weirdo?

I don’t know