My Poor Soul’s Cries

When the stars have all disappeared

And the night is on its last leg

I wouldn’t have a single memory

Which I would like to borrow or beg

Except for those little dreams

Which I lived with open eyes

While my heart played a simple song

To silence my poor soul’s cries

For my happiness is attached

To a word I do not expect

I may have heard it a thousand times

But not in the same context

Though it shall hurt me to think

That it may forever be this way

I couldn’t help but smile thinking

That she loved me for a day

125 thoughts on “My Poor Soul’s Cries

      1. Maybe that’s what I should do too. Just move along. But I can’t seem to give up. I can’t seem to accept that I was wrong about a situation. Maybe it’s all ego. Pride? I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I could just say it all, but honestly I would be committed. Some of the things I would say would make me appear to be completely insane if I were to be wrong. The ego holds me back from going there. I hope you find what you need. And I really hope for her sake and yours that you forgive yourself, own your mistakes, bring them to her and allow her to give you her grace. I think you would be shocked at her response.

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  1. No wedding ring. I already know that. But the questions of where that lies is unclear. I am honest to my core. It is such a part of me that I have walked away from great wealth because of it. I also made decisions in my own marriage because truth is so integral to my being. But walking in truth does not always mean spouting how I feel at each moment. I don’t wish to make anyone uncomfortable. And if he is still trying to repair his marriage my truth could be damaging. That’s not how I choose to use my truth. I want to build him up, not create more chaos for him. Even if he reconciles his marriage he is a dear friend just the same. That matters to me. He matters to me. Thank you for your advice. I really do appreciate it.

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      1. I am hurt that you do not know who Rumi is. Go read my posts from last night. I stayed up just to post some of his poems. All of his work makes my heart swell and leap and overflow with love and joy and all of the feels that you just said in your other comment that I loved β™‘ please please please look up Rumi. I thought 100% he was one of your influences. Though you do not need any influence but Love to write as Rumi does. His words are timeless and are universal and brilliant and full of Love.

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          1. I forgive you! I just wish everyone would read his words. Just as I wish everyone would read yours. I hope you will read the ones I posted last night, they were the ones I found while I was fully in the throes of love and I have never recovered and do not plan to. I have posted many of his works because I hope anyone who reads my blog will be introduced to Rumi. It was my love that introduced myself to his work and I am ever grateful.

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                    1. So then how do you know she does not reciprocate? Maybe she thinks you know how she feels and yet you don’t do anything. Remember our previous conversation about misreading others and they misreading you?

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                    2. Without you expressing yourself, I don’t understand how you think it has been communicated in clear terms. Have you told her, ‘I care about you. I would like to go to dinner.’?
                      I’m only trying to push you here. I think many times people become scared and end up lose something very important because they have not pushed themselves.

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                    3. Directly? Again, I’m pushing you. You said “as best I could” and have said it is hard to express yourself. And she has been direct with you? Or are you reading into things, as you have admitted to in past conversations?

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                    4. I’ll drop it. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel worse. I guess I am just thinking of my own situation where there is someone I care for very much. He has not been direct with me. Indirect acts and lots of unknowns, but nothing direct. I hope and dream that one day he will ask me to dinner, tell me how he cares for me more than just his friend, but it has yet to come. I don’t give up hope, yet, I understand your feelings of hopelessness. And I’m unsure of whether saying something would cross a line. I am just putting my own things on you. I don’t mean to do that. I’m sorry. I really am. I have cried many tears over my own situation since this was something I had never thought I would find. And maybe I didn’t find it. But I’m sorry you also are having this hurt. I don’t ever want that for you.

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                    5. It is alright. You do not need to be sorry about anything. My situation is quite the same except for the fact that it is my own doing that has caused me hurt and pain. She may have forgiven me. Even God may forgive me someday. But I don’t think I have the heart to forgive myself

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                    6. Or are you too scared to ask for forgiveness? Grace is a wonderful gift. And if it stops you from great love that is a true tragedy. It is one of the hardest things to give grace to yourself, but if she can forgive you and god can forgive you, you can allot grace to yourself. Don’t miss out on something so great because you feel you need to suffer. I keep hope that one day this man will make a step towards me and you need to try and make that step towards her. She is waiting. I know you say she has been direct, but I have this feeling she is waiting, like me, for you to ask her to lunch, ask for for coffee, ask to just be with her.

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                    7. I hope you find what you are looking for. I will try and forgive myself. Maybe it will take some time. And she is not waiting for me. I am sorry if I am sounding negative or depressing but that is how it is

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                    8. It’s okay. You are allowed to be sad. I’m quite sad at the moment too. Love can be heart wrenching. But if it is true love, she will be waiting for you. Some love can be moved on from and some there is just no getting over. I can’t seem to shake this man I have found. No matter how much I try he is always in my thoughts. I wish I could bridge my gap to him, but I’m unsure of how to do that too. Oh, friend we are very much in the same spot. My heart is with you.

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                    9. Advice question. Not knowing how this man feels about me or what the status of his marriage even is – would it be too risky to ask him to coffee? What would you do? Ok, maybe not you since you have a tough time expressing yourself, but what should I do? Should I risk that and possibly embarrass myself or make a awkward situation?

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                    10. Ask him to coffee. I see no risk whatsoever. Even if he is married, I cannot see how it would hurt to ask to go to coffee. I have coffee with married people if we feel compelled to speak, and there are many married couples that I enjoy the company of both partners, as far as great conversation goes. I am an awkward person and I simply accept that and do not let it stop me. I revel in embarrassment, because it can make me more humble and raise my confidence all at once, by facing my fear. Just tell him you enjoy his company and his conversation and you would like to sit down and talk more.

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                    11. Yes, I also do not believe in letting fear rule me. But I would never want to cross s line in someone’s marriage. You just don’t do that. Even if they are broken and trying to fix things. I have no idea what his status is and I would not want to be the wedge in that situation. Does that make sense?

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                    12. I would never cross a line. I am happily and joyfully celibate and have been for 2 years, and I have found love and infinite joy in other’s company. No lines being crossed whatsoever. It has given me the opportunity to learn how to be honest and open and confident and overcome my shyness and fear of rejection. The best people in my life are the ones that I can be brave and honest with. I really meant what I said about enjoying the company of married couples as well as single people.

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                    13. I’m not suggesting you would cross a line. I just don’t want to be that person in a sticky marriage situation. I know bring direct would be helpful, you’re right. I just have to find the line and dance it as best I can.

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                    14. I am sorry but I am not sure what you should do in this situation. I don’t think I am the right person to be advising in matters of love. I am extremely sorry that I couldn’t help you here. All I can say is that you can talk to him as you do. Understand him and get to know him and his situation and his priorities and his issues. And then when you feel comfortable, you can take the next step since I feel that right now it is very uncomforting for you to even ask him to coffee. And don’t forget to be yourself. And keep smiling

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                    15. Or do I wait for him to make the next step? There is something beautiful in someone risking for you. Risking rejection, risking pain …and I feel I have been the one risking more with engaging him as much as I can. Maybe he needs me to risk for him, but I know I also need him to risk for me. I am asking you because I know you live by love. It is what matters most to you. As it is for me. I feel like our hearts are the same here and would respect your opinion on this.


                    16. Just throwing myself into your conversation… I have had the very same conversation with myself a thousand times over. I agree with Frank, my day is worth an eternity, and in that eternity my love has found a permanent home, even though I will never be sure that it was ever requited. Loving someone is even better than being loved, only your ego will tell you otherwise. Having love in your own heart is worth more than all the metals and jewels and oil in the world.

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                    17. So true. Thanks. Love brings with it all sorts of joy and pain. But it is an inseparable part of it. The joy is a mountain. Pain is just a molehill. We focus too much on the hill and forget all about the mountain. That is not how it should be

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                    18. Sometimes I need to stop myself and remember that the lead up to finding that love is where so much of the excitement is. It’s great to finally end up in the arms of your beloved, but the butterflies and the questions leading into that final sigh in their arms is what makes it even greater.

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                    19. I very much agree that loving someone is the greatest gift you can give yourself. I share a heart of love, as you do. For everyone. And love comes back to us in all forms, so we should focus there. For instance, just 2 days ago I had flowers appear st my doorstep. The love was overwhelming in my heart that day. It was my sweet next door neighbor brightening my life with her gentle kindness. What great love in our world. We need to think about all those hints of love that surround us everyday and not just the big ones. Thank you for chiming in.

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                    20. Beautiful words and what a lovely kind thing to do for someone.
                      I still think you should talk to the gentleman and tell him what you just told me about not wanting to be a wedge. I am first and foremost an honest person and being truly honest means not withholding. I would probably look for a wedding ring first, then walk straight up and say something like, so… I feel a connection with you and I want to get to know you better. So far, I don’t know if you are interested in me as a friend or more than that, I don’t even know if you are straight or single, but I decided to put my heart to rest by talking to you and trying to get to know you better.
                      Keep in mind my curiosity is overwhelming most of the time and I really would need to put my heart to rest if I were in that situation (at the moment I sort of am, actually, but not for much longer, I can solemnly attest to that).
                      Best of luck in your life and all my love to you.
                      Remember those words of Frank’s in the comment tonight, joy is the mountain and pain is the molehill.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    21. I replied to you, but it ended up at the end of the comments. You can scroll down to see it. Thank you for taking the time to help me. It is this love and kindness that can fill us up when we feel empty at times.

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