If I lived till the end of time
And watched all that I call mine
Pass me by one by one
My mother, father, wife and son
My brother, sister, my grandson
My great-granddaughter and everyone
Even though I may never get old
How much grief can one heart hold?

I see a smiling picture of her
It feels strange to me
I don’t remember her smiling
I mean I do but it’s overshadowed
By the clear memory of her in pain
The unmistakable memory of her in anguish
The distinct memory of her in tears
That’s what’s stuck with me
She smiled sometimes
She laughed sometimes
She had periods of happiness
But it was always interjected with periods of sorrow
Two short intervals of joy
Sandwiching a long stretch of despair
So I know she smiled
Yes she definitely smiled
But I remember her tears
I guess some memories are stronger than others

Say my hello to the stars
How do they talk to you?
Do they shine brighter when filled with joy
Like you always used to do?

Say my hello to the moon
I long to be there too
To jump and float momentarily
Like a cloud with you

Say my hello to the sky
That enveloping sheet of blue
For cradling you in her doting arms
The way we failed to do

And finally a hello to you
I know it’s long overdue
Sometimes I get caught up in things
Which I never care to do
Sometimes I lose track of time
And the happiness I knew
I wish that you could see how much
I miss you. I really do

Life is but a long-drawn joke
Played on every broad and bloke
Its novelty has come to decline
For Death is its solitary punchline

T’was not so long ago
That Death forced us apart
Now it will be Death again
To reunite our hearts

Well played, Fate, I must say
It had to happen someday
You took her from me alright
Try taking her memories away

To lose a loved one
Is to lose a part of you

To lose a loved one
Is to swallow a living hornet
That tears through your pharynx
Settles on your heart
And keeps gnawing a piece of it
Whenever it feels like

To lose a loved one
Is to lose a love
For each love is unique
And though each person loves differently
No love is impure

To lose a loved one
Is to march into a battlefield
Against monsters and demons
Without a weapon
Without a companion

To lose a loved one
Is to sing a song of pain
That nobody can hear
Except for the winds that carry it

To lose a loved one
Is to shed a tear
Shed a stream, shed a river
Shed an ocean
All in one drop

To lose a loved one
Is to lose a part of you
Permanently

Pain? What pain?
Love? What love?
Sorrow? What sorrow?
Joy? What joy?

Nothing in this life
Has ever felt real
Or ever held any meaning

Meaning? What meaning?
Feelings? What feelings?
God? What God?
Life? Yes…

I can’t tell the difference
Between darkness and light
Between happiness and ache
Between my shadow and myself

Shadow? What shadow?
It’s just me
Warmth? What warmth?
It’s just cold
Loss? What loss?
Memories? Yes…
Death? Ha-ha
Life? Yes…

Given a chance
Willing I am to go through
This meaningless journey
All over again
Just to be born again
From your womb

Mirrors mirrors in empty space
Numerous light-years away
The only way I can keep
Living in yesterday