Queasy, nervous and going mad
In my quest to be a great dad
I went through all the parenting tips
To save myself from any slips

What to do and what to not
To save my child from any blot?
What to teach and what to dress
To give my child great success?

What bedtime stories I should read
To have him sleeping guaranteed?
What to sing as a lullaby
When my child begins to cry?

What skills to teach? What toys to buy?
How to get his grades to fly?
What food is good and what is bad?
Oh I’m trying to be a great dad

Days and nights I have spent
Through each book I have went
One thing I can say for sure
They’ve left me more confused than before

Ere I loved the giant clouds
Atop the vast blue seas
They being so hard to reach
Now I love the trees
Basking all day in their shade
Climbing swinging as I please
Far easier to love someone
When hugging has no fees

An alien came from Mercury
“Earthlings,” he said, “please hurry
I give you one minute
Pack your stuff in it
Nothing else for you to worry”

Poor earthlings lost their head
Helter-skelter they all fled
Hearts gripped with fear
And the future unclear
They didn’t want to end up dead

The cunning alien had a look
How easily the Earth was shook
No guns or death-ray
No knife to slay
Authority is all it took

I grabbed my daughter’s favourite book
A book about dinosaurs
She holds it every night to sleep
A book she just adores

As I flipped the very first page
Guess what did I see
The beasts therein all came to life
And jumped on top of me

They looked at me with giant eyes
I looked back with fear
I yelled and screamed like a little girl
As my demise grew near

Hearing me my girl came running
Grabbed the book from me
Instructed the giant dinosaurs
— Let the old man be

They all paid obeisance to her
Ere retreating in the book
I got myself up from the floor
With a pitiful look

Like nothing had ever happened
My daughter jumped on the bed
Fell to sleep holding that eerie book
Left me scratching my head

My English teacher taught me WORDS = SWORD
My Science teacher told me HEART = EARTH
My Geometry teacher told me TRIANGLE = INTEGRAL
My Philosophy teacher told me DEATH = HATED
My Geography teacher told me NIGER = REIGN
My Music teacher told me LISTEN = SILENT
I told them TEACHER = CHEATER
And now I cannot go home until I find one for STUDENT

Why do the clouds cry so often?
Can somebody go and stop them?
Look what they’ve done to my clothes

My clothes get wet and I get sick
From the constant tears they leak
When will they stop? Nobody knows

I need to meet a special friend
The clouds keep crying for hours on end
Even I am dripping from my nose

You naughty clouds you’ve made me cry
I’m late again despite my tries
That’s just how life goes I suppose

There were three unusual friends
Present, Past and Future Tense
They wanted to meet
On Times Square Street
To mark their eternal bromance

In a bar lay a lazy punk
Half-asleep and totally drunk
The staff would scream and shout
But he wouldn’t check-out
So they dumped him with the junk

There was once an elephant
Smaller than the smallest ant
He faced a lot of mock
So he went to a doc
For a dose of antidepressant

There’s a bully in my school
Her name’s Eleanor
Mean, fat and ugly
She’s a devil for sure

She pushes me around
Gives wounds to my skin
When I sit and cry
I can see her grin

She always takes my lunch
Dim-witted Eleanor
But from today I say
She’ll bully me no more

I have made a sandwich
Mixed with slimy bugs
Found them in my garden
Snails, beetles, ants and slugs

Jessie comes and tells me
That today is a good day
Eleanor’s not come to school
Much to my dismay