February sat quietly in a class
With eleven other lads and lass

Took out his books
(Thirty-five in all)
To threatening looks
(from them all)

First came January
Who was a bully
We’ve all got thirty, she said
But flaunt you had
To and now you’re dead
And pinched one
From poor February
To settle the score
And left him with thirty-four

Then came December
As far as I remember
Who grabbed one
Even though September
Tried to stop her
And left February
With thirty-three

Then it was May
Who made him pay
Poor February
Had nothing to say
Or do
Now down to thirty-two

July followed them
Another book was gone
February now had
Only thirty-one

August came next
Grabbed another text
Oh this is fun
You better not complain
I’m only taking one
Down to thirty you are
How it should have been
From the beginnin’

When it was October’s turn
February protested
I’ve as much as you
This you cannot do
Leave me alone
I ain’t giving you one
October laughed and shoved him
I ain’t gonna be left behind
Now if you don’t mind
Just hand it over to me
Before I take away three
Poor February sighed Fine
And was down to twenty-nine

March, sitting next to him, said
Even though you’re my friend
I hope you understand
Give me one too and
If you don’t they’ll kick
Me out of their clique

And that, my friend
Is how a fab day
For February came to an end
Unintentionally inviting hate
Started off with thirty-five
Ended up with twenty-eight

Has work for you stopped being fun?
Are you angry at everything that’s done?
Do you find yourself getting mad
At every little thing that’s said?
With your two juniors you are fed
Up; they make your face go red
Then by my astute calculation
You’re a Mars of the corporation

You can be any type of employee you want to be
But don’t ever become a Jupiter
Please

Here’s why:

Jupiters are the middle-level managers
Who seem to have the most amount of work

Jupiters are the ones
With such a strong magnetic field
That they always find themselves
Attracting one project after another

Jupiters are the ones who are not even aware
Of the number of subordinates that report to them

There’s so much going around Jupiters
That nobody has bothered to take stock of things

Jupiters literally keep the company in shape
Without them the solar system would not be the same

Jupiters are the ones
With massive gas problem
Barely a wonder with all
The workload dumped on them

Jupiters take the fall for most of company’s failures
Who else would take the impact of the asteroids, comets and other celestial bodies?

Despite all this Jupiters barely get any sunlight
No recognition and average pay is their thing

You know you’re Saturn when
You’re having the most fun at work

I mean, other ladies have rings too
But yours are the only ones that get talked about

I mean, it also helps to have one hundred and forty six admirers circling around you all the time