There’s a ghost in my room
Who thinks he can’t be seen
Flickers the lights at night
Just to make a scene

There’s a ghost in my room
He slowly closes the door
When it makes a creaking sound
I hear him laugh and roar

There’s a ghost in my room
Who makes many hideous cries
I give him a lot of brownie points
Just for all the tries

I feel like speaking the truth someday
Tell him to stop his gag
But the poor guy seems lonely
So I let his drab show drag

A hop over here and a skip over there
It leaves me far behind
I’m huffing and puffing in a terrible way
Will you help me catch my mind
Will you help me catch my mind? Oh please
Will you help me catch my mind?
I’m huffing and puffing in a terrible way
Will you help me catch my mind?

I begged and bribed and tried all means
No solution I can find
I’m desperately at my wit’s end
Please help me catch my mind
Please help me catch my mind oh please
Please help me catch my mind
I’m desperately at my wit’s end
Please help me catch my mind

I’m sure you can relate to me
If your mind is a jumping-kind
Let’s work out a way to help each other
I need to catch my mind
I need to catch my mind oh please
I need to catch my mind
Let’s work out a way to help each other
I need to catch my mind

Football, work, video games
Books, dinosaurs, mankind
See how my mind is all over the place
Will you help me catch my mind
Will you help me catch my mind? Oh please
Will you help me catch my mind?
I’m huffing and puffing in a terrible way
Will you help me catch my mind?

Oh look there’s a cloud that looks like me
I’m gonna name it Little FrankE
You could give a name to a cloud too
Should you find a cloud that looks like you

Humpty Dumpty rose from the ground
After the fall he was safe and sound
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Saw that he wasn’t an egg with pants

Just how golly life would be
If you swap your shoes with me
Just for a day or two or three
I’ll be you and you’ll be me

I’ll see the world as you see
I’ll get to know your family
When you meet mine, you’d agree
That they’re all sweet and jolly

I’ll meet Joe, Jason, Emily
And your other comrades by the sea
We’ll swim for hours jubilantly
And climb on the giant coconut tree

You’ll meet Dan, Martha, Willie
They’ll crack jokes and they’ll act silly
They’ll make you laugh loud endlessly
Time will fly quite speedily

When should we start? Come, tell me
Tonight? Tomorrow? Whenever you’re free
Right now? Oh my that is fine with me
Close your eyes and count to three

Queasy, nervous and going mad
In my quest to be a great dad
I went through all the parenting tips
To save myself from any slips

What to do and what to not
To save my child from any blot?
What to teach and what to dress
To give my child great success?

What bedtime stories I should read
To have him sleeping guaranteed?
What to sing as a lullaby
When my child begins to cry?

What skills to teach? What toys to buy?
How to get his grades to fly?
What food is good and what is bad?
Oh I’m trying to be a great dad

Days and nights I have spent
Through each book I have went
One thing I can say for sure
They’ve left me more confused than before

Ere I loved the giant clouds
Atop the vast blue seas
They being so hard to reach
Now I love the trees
Basking all day in their shade
Climbing swinging as I please
Far easier to love someone
When hugging has no fees

An alien came from Mercury
“Earthlings,” he said, “please hurry
I give you one minute
Pack your stuff in it
Nothing else for you to worry”

Poor earthlings lost their head
Helter-skelter they all fled
Hearts gripped with fear
And the future unclear
They didn’t want to end up dead

The cunning alien had a look
How easily the Earth was shook
No guns or death-ray
No knife to slay
Authority is all it took

I grabbed my daughter’s favourite book
A book about dinosaurs
She holds it every night to sleep
A book she just adores

As I flipped the very first page
Guess what did I see
The beasts therein all came to life
And jumped on top of me

They looked at me with giant eyes
I looked back with fear
I yelled and screamed like a little girl
As my demise grew near

Hearing me my girl came running
Grabbed the book from me
Instructed the giant dinosaurs
— Let the old man be

They all paid obeisance to her
Ere retreating in the book
I got myself up from the floor
With a pitiful look

Like nothing had ever happened
My daughter jumped on the bed
Fell to sleep holding that eerie book
Left me scratching my head

My English teacher taught me WORDS = SWORD
My Science teacher told me HEART = EARTH
My Geometry teacher told me TRIANGLE = INTEGRAL
My Philosophy teacher told me DEATH = HATED
My Geography teacher told me NIGER = REIGN
My Music teacher told me LISTEN = SILENT
I told them TEACHER = CHEATER
And now I cannot go home until I find one for STUDENT