When in school I had to study
Science was not so fun
Me along with my buddy
Couldn’t wait till school was done

Years later, not for passing
I picked the books again
Slowly surely I kept amassing
Knowledge in my brain

The world around me was broken
Down in marvellous parts
The words that popped out unspoken
Settled straight inside my heart

I fell in love with Mother Nature
And how she ruled her space
She offers a peek into the future
And shows everyone their place

Sometimes I like to stop and ponder
How different life would have been
If I had gone on chasing wonders
Instead of building mannequins

It may seem like a benign word
But it isn’t
Everything about this word is wrong
It’s a complete mess of a word

Its pronunciation has nothing to do with its spelling
Take the first C
It makes an S sound
Now take the second C
It makes a K sound
Why would someone do that?
Why would anybody use the same letter
To make two different sounds in the same word?

I strongly believe that this word was created
By the native speakers
To make life difficult for others
And have a derisive laugh along the way
The italian, portuguese and spanish word for it has two Cs too (circo)
And, you guessed it, both sound different
The dutch and latin use the same word as English does
At least the french have the decency
To use only one C in the word (cirque)
While the german word (zirkus)
And the norwegian word (sirkus) contain no C
And is pronounced just the way it is spelt

Is it any wonder that when my life is frenetic
Disorganised, messy, disturbing,
Farcical and comical
With just the right amount of chaos
Suitable for public entertainment
I refer to it as a …

Then it would have had a better shape
With a metaphor thrown in
For a subtle yet engaging effect

If AI had written this poem
Then it would have had a grander theme
Plus a consistent rhyme scheme

If AI had written this poem
I would have saved my hours
And squandered them anyway
On stuff that didn’t matter at all

If AI had written this poem
It would have pleased the eye
A figure of speech used properly
Would have even pleased the ear

If AI had written this poem
Then it would have got more likes
It would have reached a celeb’s phone
Who would have taken my blog to new heights

If AI had written this poem
If only AI had written this poem

“Papa, which is your favourite?” Cooper junior asked enthusiastically as he sailed with his parents seeking fresh targets. “I am particularly fond of bald heads.”

“No, Junior,” Papa Cooper corrected him. “We pigeons are not in the business of having favourites. We must…”

“Oh that’s a headfull of rubbish right there,” Mama Cooper interrupted him. “I know it very well that you love to park your droppings on long hairs. You love to watch it get tangled in their locks as they turn skywards to hurl profanities in your direction.”

Papa Cooper gave an embarrassed smile.

“What about you, Mama? Do you have a favourite?”

“Junior, more than scalps, I love the human face.”

“The face? Isn’t that the most difficult?”

“It is. That’s what makes it so appealing. The thrill of landing one on their faces as they are relaxing in our soft, green grass is irresistible. Oh just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.”

“Have you ever landed one?”

Mama Cooper shook his head, “But you know what? Some day I will.”

“I have here with me a fully legal and binding written agreement that states that I am the sole owner of the sycamore, and that anyone found trespassing will be liable to pay a hefty fine.”

Kevin, the raven was visibly agitated and made his point in no uncertain terms in front of the unkindness. The other members nodded in agreement.

“Look at how my fine feathers are turning grey from worry. It’s an intentional breach of my rights and privacy; it’s a conspiracy against a conspiracy.”

The above words were met with wild and thunderous flapping of the wings. One member raised his beak and asked if there was a way to get back at the perpetrators.

“Oh yes, there is, there is,” cried Kevin with a glint in his eye. “We only have to turn to our loud cousins for inspiration. Their caws are highly annoying for the frail ears of those grotesque mammals; we simply must replicate it. Our lower croaking sounds cannot do.”

A member objected to the notion by stating that it was not within their means.

“Bah!” Kevin cawed, dismissively. “One can achieve anything if only one wills it. We have a living example right next doors. Who would have thought that pigeons could direct their droppings precisely onto their targets? That is now possible thanks to a little practice and determination.”

Mark was a dear friend
I had known him for fifty years
Or perhaps… uh… it was forty years
Um… Dear, how old am I?

Seventy-five (your wife shouts from the crowd)

Seventy-five, my my (look a bit surprised)
That means I had known him for eighty years
Seems an awful lot when you come to think of it
I honestly don’t remember spending so many years with him
Ah, the mind is always playing tricks on you
Making you forget things you did do and
Making you remember things you can never have possibly done
But that’s a story for another day
Now, where was I?

Mark (wife shouts again from the crowd)

Mark? Mark who?

Mark’s funeral, Dear (wife bites her lips and suppresses her urge to drag you off the stage, not because she does not want to create a scene at a funeral but because perhaps she is afraid one of her body parts might snap)

Ah yes, Mark. He was a fine young man
Who left us before his time
But nothing can be said of covid
Takes the finest young men and
Spares weak old men like me
(Cough a couple of times)

Dear, did you bring my meds?
(Wife shakes her head fervently)
Perhaps I have it in my pockets somewhere
(Scan your pockets hurriedly)
Ah, the lottery ticket
Now that’s where it was all the time
Should have guessed it
Should have guessed it
24, um… now what’s this

(Wife clears her throat loudly)

Ah, Mark
Mark, Mark, Mark (try to remember a memory)
Well, he always was fascinated by one thing
One thing always
(Scratch your head)
Dolls (triumphantly remembering)
Yes, Mark was always obsessed with dolls
Even at a young age, he wanted to understand
Dissect and investigate dolls
He had a whole collection of it which he stored in a secret cabinet in his room
(Mark’s wife gasps)
Yes, yes, I know
He used to brag to me that his wife didn’t have a clue about it
I thought he was wrong but ah, now I know

He also told me about his last wish
But what it was I can’t remember
I only know that he only told me about it
I guess it doesn’t matter now that Clark is dead