Ramblings Of A Broken Heart

I read that every second 1.8 humans die
Turning to the plain clock hanging on a plain wall
I watched the seconds tick
With every tick I imagined a person dying
Somewhere, anywhere, someone, anyone
Tick 1 – someone dies in Asia
Tick 2 – someone dies in Africa
Tick 3 – someone dies in America
Tick 4 – someone dies in Europe
Tick 5 – someone dies close to me
5 seconds down, 5 humans down (at the very least)

And we are only talking about humans
Let us not get started on other life-forms
With every passing second we lose a human
A unique being like the one that never was and never will be
I always knew that death is commonplace
Yet this thought never bothered me before
60 seconds down, 100 humans down

Yet I am not affected by it
I look around and nobody seems to be mourning either
We are aware and yet oblivious
I am only affected by the death of those who are close to me
The ones I love and the ones I care about
Others seem to be following the same rule
They are only affected by the loss of their dear ones

That’s a weird rule
If people only mourn the death of their loved ones then the fewer people you love the less you will grieve
The corollary should be: People are hurt only by their loved ones
But that is not true
Those who we not love can wound our hearts too
So the logical corollary seems to be: We are hurt more by those who we love than by those we don’t
That sounds true to me
Does it hold good for you too?
I am more hurt by a lie I hear from a loved one than a lie I hear from someone else

So what’s the lesson in this? What’s the point of this? What do we learn from this?
It’s simple
Love is going to hurt
Love is going to make you cry
Through the actions of a loved one or because of their loss
Love will shatter you
Love is addictive and all addictions are harmful
It’s the drug that offers momentary pleasure
For a lasting scathe
Avoid it
Cut it out
Love nobody

I Said To My Heart

Well I said to my heart —
Is this what you do?
When you suffer and ache
I too suffer with you

No excuses this time
Be as cold as a stone
When you light up that fire
You’re never burning alone

Keep your doors all closed
And your windows too
When you breathe in that air
I too suffer with you

Go find a distraction
How hard could it be?
The repercussions
You always share with me

Why don’t you understand
What isn’t good for you?
For a passing feeling
I too suffer with you

See the other side someday
It isn’t that bad
It isn’t that hideous
It isn’t that sad

So I said to my heart —
Is this what you do?
When you suffer and pain
I too suffer with you

I Want To Live

I want to live
Happily and merrily
Jubilantly and gleefully
Mirthfully and blithely

I want to love
Freely and crazily
Extraordinarily and unconditionally
Wildly and innocently

But that is not possible with you
Clearly and apparently
Currently and actually
Significantly and persistently

So I want to leave
Sadly and unfortunately
Necessarily and permanently
Essentially and importantly

Do Different Hearts Ache Differently?

Do different hearts ache differently?
My heart aches! Oh boy it aches!
Like a poke of a hundred pins
Like a skin pierced by a lion’s claw
Like a stab from a sharp dagger
It aches! Yes it aches in many ways!
Like landing on your head from a fall
Like dislocating your knee
Like being crushed by a heavy stone
Yes it aches like that
Does your heart ache like mine?
Does it even ache?
Does it ache all the time?
How does your heart ache?