My heart aches
A shiver runs through me
Every time I hold you
For I fear that it may
Be the last time
That I am holding you
In my arms

It is irrational
It most certainly is
But how do I explain to my senses
Who have experienced nothing
But loss and pain
That sometimes something
Is meant to be?

How do I come up
With an explanation
To tell my body
To let go of the grieving
That it is time to move on
Start afresh and
Open the doors to
A bright sunshine?

The more I delay
The worse it gets
This false comfort is a curse
It haunts me to know
How I am keeping love at bay
Every day of my life
When I should be
Embracing it with all my affections

I know better
Yet I cannot summon the courage
To act better
The traumas of yester-years are
Etched deep in my soul
They caution me at every move
They warn me at every step
I, foolishly, yield to them
Telling myself that the next time
I shall be wiser
Instead of being a slave to their whims
Yet that tomorrow never comes

They are not wrong either
They are here to protect me
When I say I am hurting
Who is in fact hurting?
It is my senses
It is them
They undergo the trauma
They get wounded
They have to do the healing
How can I blame them for trying to protect themselves?
Do I call them selfish?
Isn’t that what we all do?
Brave are those who can overcome these obstacles
And face life as it comes
Me? I am weak
Or in other words, my senses are

So yes, my heart aches
A shiver runs through me
Every time I hold you
In my arms
For I fear that it may
Be the last time
That I am holding you
In my arms